I posted a challenged to make goals to be a better lover this year. It turned out to be a popular post that was viewed and shared many times.
I gave some ideas of how you can resolve to be a better lover this year. Over the next few weeks, I want to go into more detail with some ideas of how you can increase intimacy in your sex life.
Building a deeper and more intimate sex life requires you putting your spouse’s needs and desires above yours. In perfect relationships, both people will work to meet the other person’s needs, therefore, both are having their needs met.
Do something to bless your spouse in the bedroom
One way you can be a better lover this year is to do something to bless your spouse physically. It is very important that you figure out what they are longing for, and meet that need.
Don’t try to do something for them that you want done for you. Instead, patiently work with them to figure out what they would appreciate. This might be more difficult if you are trying to bless your lower drive spouse.
If you are looking to bless a higher drive spouse, it can seem a bit scary to think about giving them something they enjoy.
Regardless of what side of the coin you are on, it is going to stretch you as a lover.
This will require communication
In order to bless your spouse physically, it is going to require a lot of communication between both of you. It is best to have these discussions before you are about to have sex or if it is late at night. Give yourself plenty of time to ask your spouse what you can do that would bless them.
Putting together a dinner for two is a great way to open the door for sexy talk. Having conversations about what you enjoy in the bedroom is a good way to get in the mood and helps you to learn more about each other.
After your conversations, you should be prepared to spend time together intimately. You don’t have to bless your spouse with the specific action right away, because it might take time to prep. However, after a sexy conversation, the higher drive spouse is going to be ready to make love.
What if i bless them and they don’t bless me back?
It seems reasonable to expect the other person to do something in return for you going out there for them. That should not be the motivation behind this challenge, or anything you do for your spouse for that matter.
Freely give yourself to your spouse and leave it at that. If they do not reciprocate, that is ok, because you weren’t doing it so they would give you something in return. You were blessing them because you love them and care about them.
What if they don’t seem excited about what i do to bless them?
Unmet expectations in the bedroom happen a lot of times. It can make one or both of you feel put off on trying new things. If you do something extra to bless your spouse in the bedroom, don’t feel discouraged if they don’t react the way you expect them to. It doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate what you have done, but they may not have the same reaction as you are hoping for.
Make this a year where you are going to give to your spouse unconditionally, which means you will keep giving even if they do not give back or respond the way you hope.