Signs You Might Be A Perfectionist
Before we delve into the practical strategies you need to employ if you want to move past perfectionism, it’s worth building a clearer picture of how the perfectionist mindset works.
Here, then, are the main signs that you might be a perfectionist. How many of these do you recognize?
Black and white thinking: Perfectionists tend to have an “all or nothing” attitude. You might see people as all good or all bad, yourself as either entirely successful or a failure, and a job as either well done or completely ruined. In truth, everything admits of degrees and shades of grey – especially people.
Critical attitude: The critical attitude of perfectionists usually involves unrealistic standards. So, you may feel the strong urge to criticize yourself and/or others if you ever detect a mistake.
This can lead to strained personal relationships, as well as to low self-esteem when you don’t match up to your own standards. Forgiving yourself and others may be especially hard for you.
Motivated by fear: Perfectionists largely assume that there’s such a thing as a perfect personality, and worrying you won’t stand up to scrutiny.
Rather than focusing on the joy and fulfillment, you’ll get from success, you may find yourself thinking much more about the horrors of failure. When you act to pursue your goals, it’s this fear that drives you.
Struggling with failure: Related to the above is a lack of resilience when encountering challenges. In other words, when life doesn’t go your way, you may be completely floored by this.
Rather than viewing failure or difficulty as a setback, you can view it as a sign you’ll never succeed. In contrast, it’s much more helpful to view challenges as an opportunity to learn lessons.
Frequent procrastination: Although this might sound strange at first, perfectionists procrastinate a lot. You may obsess over the “right time” and the “right way” to do something.
As such, you may find you never actually start the project or the task, as the perfect time and place doesn’t exist.
Perfection Is The Enemy Of Manifestation
Now that you have a clearer image of what it means to be a perfectionist, you’ll have a better idea of whether you struggle with perfectionistic thinking.
And, as we noted above, perfectionism is bad for manifesting, largely because it aligns you with lack rather than abundance. It’s worth thinking about the Law of Attraction technique “living as is” here.
This technique asks you to imagine and act as though you already have the life you want. Notice that this is frequently lauded as an especially effective tool, and yet it’s impossible to use it if you’re a perfectionist.
In contrast, focusing on the idea of perfect imperfection actively helps with manifestation. In other words, if you want to attract the things you desire in life, you should strive to accept flaws as part of perfection.
We are all perfectly imperfect people – we all have struggles, flaws, and difficulties. However, time often shows us that it is these very quirks that lead us to success.
Our struggles help us connect with others, help us cultivate empathy, and show us how to anticipate potential problems in the future.
Of course, it’s hard to simply overcome perfectionism. As we’ve explored, you are fighting against years of programming from society, and from your early life experiences.
In addition, it’s important not to fall into the trap of being a perfectionist about fighting perfectionism!
In other words, try to accept that you’re not always going to succeed here.
Sometimes, you’ll fall back into old ways of thinking and acting. However, these moments don’t mean that you’re back to square one.
Self-improvement isn’t entirely linear, especially when you’re trying to change something as deep-rooted as perfectionistic tendencies.
With all this in mind, here are three tips that can help you embrace the idea of perfect imperfection.
Our focus here is on developing a more loving, positive attitude to yourself, and on coming to understand your true value.
As we’ll come back to, in the end, the general Law Of Attraction techniques can also help you pursue this improvement in self-image.